However, the natural order of British academia means that students of film & the visual arts are the proverbial cannon fodder & water-carriers to the medics, lawyers & scientists. It’s worthwhile to note though, that it is often to these very students of science, law & medicine (during polite conversation – more often in a pub or over a cup of tea and slice of toast) that film & media students have to explain the deeply confusing & mind bogglingly difficult concept as to precisely what film or media studies means (often utilising various diagrams, visual aids & extensive use of the words ‘bollard’ ‘Christmas tree’ ‘chromosome’ and ‘goat’) until the glorious & life-changing realisation hits them that film studies, just as media studies infact means the study of film & media respectively. They then proceed to amusingly mock this fact, but fail to notice that you left the room at least ten minutes ago.

There is then life outside of the classroom in the real world.

To the true, dedicated filmmaker, the concept of the ‘real’ world is fundamentally meaningless. When the challenge of academic life has subsided with the presentation of your degree or diploma, the passion to find the means & support to make your vision into a reality hits you like a large African elephant attempting to tap-dance on your forehead in high heels.

Now there are several routes that you can go down to reach the goal of a premiere in Leicester Square of your directorial debut. You can either seek the help of professional charitable bodies such as the arts council – be that nationally or regionally, or the National Lottery itself– who can award you a grant depending on the artistic value or merit of your proposal, though only after a prolonged period of the filling out of forms, ticking of boxes & mastery of the art of phone calls, all of which will determine whether you are a “good cause”. On obtaining the necessary community funding & charitable support, a frantic period of phone-conversations will ensue to friends from College & University, where you will look to piece together a film-crew off of the back of the fact that you’re prepared to forget the fact that they owed you a drink 18 months ago, or in many cases, drinks. That, or the fact that they are now working in Asda (the British division of Wal-Mart) and any prospect of using their degree or diploma is better than spending the rest of their life directing customers to tinned carrots & horseradish for the foreseeable future.

A hectic period of post & pre-production soon follows where you develop a vitamin supplement addiction under the strain. You however conquer your demons & personal turmoil & the film is soon in the can. On its premiere in the local YMCA you are hailed as the new hope for British film, but have to leave the after-show party early as your Mum has dished up your dinner & you don’t want to miss the last bus home (as you don’t have enough money for a taxi).

You could of course, on leaving College or University, live in the archetypal British stately home, enjoying a comfortable return to a serenely middle class life in the British countryside as the heir apparent to several acres land, cows, sheep & a farmer named ‘Bob’. On a flight of fancy however, one cigar smoking Bombay Sapphire fuelled evening, you write a gritty & violent black-comedy on life in the East-End of London which you have no prior knowledge of, with a friend from College who happens to live in the Manor house in the adjoining village to your own. You notice that you may be onto something, and promptly ask your butler and/or maid to ring around several agents (who you went to school with) with a view to getting the attention of as many film-studios & retired gangsters as possible.