I, Perry Kroll, being of sound mind and speaking with total honesty hereby declare that Smokin' Aces is, without doubt, the worst movie I have ever seen.

More details later. I need to watch Layer Cake to expunge the foulness from my mind.

I love Jeremy Piven because of Entourage so I just assumed he could have kept the film afloat.

I've been looking forward to it for a while so I'm seeing it anyway.

Sorry Perry.

is it really that bad?

i havent't seen it yet, but have been looking forward to it for a while.

why does it suck?

I've been having a good think. Actually, that's a lie. I've been trying NOT to think about it. It defies analysis. It's so bad it defies analysis. Kind of like a deadly virus you'd rather not get too close to.

80 plots going on at once, none of which make sense.
No characters we can identify with, even remotely understand, or care about.
Random and out of place scenes. All the time.
Gratuitous and utterly unnecessary violence to the point of boredom. It was never shocking or disgusting - just boring.
Fairly bad acting all around.
Terrible direction. There was no single vision, but rather several hundred visions, each belonging to a different crew member, and none of which were any good.
Pointless and unsatisfying ending.
Took itself seriously in all the wrong places - the point of embarrassment. I felt sorry for the people who made it whenever it tried to be serious. That was where it went from failed comedy to utter failure.

I'm not one to exaggerate. I often say "I didn't like it, but I respect it..." or "well, it wasn't very good." But I've only said "worst movie I've seen" a few times, and each time its been worse than the time before.

OMG. OMG. OMG. I wanted to give up film. Then I saw Layer Cake. Thank the maker for Netflix.

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the new King Kong is worse, the scene where the monkey and the girl are skating on ice together to romantic music and christmas tree lighting is disgusting! 200 million dollars!

Have you SEEN Smokin' Aces?

no but i bet it has something to do with whispering to you to make a better movie

Bummer. That looked like it could've been a fun movie.

Was it worse than Ultraviolet?

Probably. I didn't see Ultraviolet.

Thats alittle unfair. Nothing could be worse than Ultraviolet.

Dang, i'm gonna see this as a double feature with Letters from Iwo Jima. Hope it's fun at least.

Whoa whoa whoa, Tidy you were way off on this one...

quote:

80 plots going on at once, none of which make sense.

You must've watched this half-awake or something. The only one I didn't understand was Affleck's. And that was only because I wasn't clear on what a bondsman does.

quote:

No characters we can identify with, even remotely understand, or care about.

What was wrong with Reynold's or Liotta's characters? They were the good guys through and through, and well, I guess if you didn't care about them then the ending would feel like a cop out.

quote:

Random and out of place scenes. All the time.
Gratuitous and utterly unnecessary violence to the point of boredom. It was never shocking or disgusting - just boring.

If you weren't following the stor(ies) very well then some of the scenes may feel out of place, otherwise, everything felt natural enough to me.

quote:

Fairly bad acting all around.

Come now, that's got to be the biggest falsehood yet. I thought the exact opposite. And though I may be an admitted Arrested Development fanboy, Jason Bateman's five minutes are almost worth the ticket price alone. Hell, and what about Nestor Carbonell? Nestor, freaking "Suddenly Susan," Carbonell, who even managed to give a mentionable performance.

quote:

Terrible direction. There was no single vision, but rather several hundred visions, each belonging to a different crew member, and none of which were any good.

I dunno, the whole thing felt like a serious, Americanized Guy Ritchie film. Solid enough for me.

quote:

Pointless and unsatisfying ending.

Like I said, if you didn't care for Liotta or Reynolds, then yeah, you'd think that.

quote:

Took itself seriously in all the wrong places - the point of embarrassment. I felt sorry for the people who made it whenever it tried to be serious. That was where it went from failed comedy to utter failure.

I see that, a little bit. Though, I was able to go with flow and it didn't bother me too much.

quote:

OMG. OMG. OMG. I wanted to give up film. Then I saw Layer Cake. Thank the maker for Netflix.

Wow, that's just, wow. I really felt this did a better job of being a Guy Ritchiesque movie better than Layer Cake did; Layer Cake being a movie I constantly heard being Ritchiesque. Just to add, I really hated Layer Cake.

I had been waiting for this movie ever since I first saw its preview a few months ago and your review really worried me Tidy. But after finally watching it myself I was happy to see how wrong (at least in my opinion) you were about it.

Watch this movie guys, it is definitely better than Ultraviolet (not like that's a challenge.)

P.S. If you're listening to the movie's soundtrack, and like me, thought the composer was ripping someone off, you're probably right.

elliott (otiose)...

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Haha. Well, to be honest, I'm glad you liked it. Someone better enjoy it. Everyone I saw it with felt the same. We kept asking each other, "wait, it really was the worst movie you've ever seen, right?" "mm. yep."

quote:

it is definitely better than Ultraviolet (not like that's a challenge.

I disagree, and rest my case

quote:

Originally posted by titaniumdoughnut:
Haha. Well, to be honest, I'm glad you liked it. Someone better enjoy it. Everyone I saw it with felt the same. We kept asking each other, "wait, it really was the worst movie you've ever seen, right?" "mm. yep."

It might have something to do with the fact that you were all educated by the same film professors. Just a thought.

Well I thought it was entertaining. Not the best, not the worst. It was pretty easily observable where it was derivative and ultimately not the movie it wanted to be, but I don't regret spending what I did to see it.

Not true, Josh. I saw it with one other filmmaker, a cinema studies transfer from London and a political scientist from CT.

Well, I saw it last night. It was precisely what I was expecting from the trailer; no Citizen Kane but entertaining and enjoyable. It was by no means the worst movie I've ever seen.

by traditional standards it is a terrible movie, but my manhood likes the guns shooting and flashy colors.