Just caught an advance screening.

Seriously. A simply amazing movie. The exaggerated stylistic Frank Miller portrayal may annoy some (I loved it - Sin City meets Kill Bill plus extra awesome) but the gorgeous graphics and stunning imagery are sure to sway even the most unenthusiastic. This entire film was shot on greenscreen and composited and it's a work of art. Simply beautiful. And awesome. And beautiful. And awesome.

So awesome.

my friend has free imax tickets so we're going to go see it there . . . can't wait

the only word that registered there was "imax." I am so jealous.

I'll let you know how awesome it is.

I heard everyone who watches it grows a giant beard upon viewing.

While that is true, the beard wears off by the time the credits finish rolling. The small print on the tickets said something about liability.

A review from aintitcool.com that I thought, well, is the coolest review I've ever read. I'm curious to see what gets censored when I post this...haha.

"I just saw a movie that’ll give your eyes boners, make your balls scream and make you poop DVD copies of THE TRANSPORTER. It’s called 300. I don’t know what the title has to do with the movie, but they could’ve called it KITTENS MAKING CANDLES and it’d still rule.

It’s about these 300 Greek dudes who stomp the sugar-coated **** out of like a million other dudes. I have a feeling that a lot of high school sports coaches are going to show this film to their teams before they play. Also, gay dudes and divorced women are going to use screen captures for computer wallpaper.

The movie takes place about a million years ago, and it’s sort of like a prequel to SIN CITY. Except way less guns and cars but twice as much skull splitting. If you watch this movie and go into a Taco Bell, and say to the cashier, “I need some extra sauce packets” guess what? You’re getting twenty sauce packets because your face will punch him in the brain.

I can’t spoil the plot because THANK GOD THERE ISN’T ONE. Just ass kicking that kicks ass that, while said ass is getting kicked, is kicking yet more ass that’s hitting someone’s balls with a hammer made of ice but the ice is frozen whiskey.

TWO COOL THINGS ABOUT THE MOVIE AND ONE THING I DIDN’T LIKE:

COOL THING ONE:
HEAVY METAL DURING BATTLE SCENES

Who gives a **** if the music isn’t historically correct? LORD OF THE RINGS could’ve used some Journey. This movie has that chu-CHUNG kind of metal that you hear in your head when your shift supervisor at Wetzel’s Pretzel is telling you that you’ll have to stay for clean up and you wish you had a sock filled with quarters in your hand.

COOL THING TWO:
FOES, MINI-BOSSES AND A BIG BOSS

Basically, the Greek dudes are fighting these Persian dudes, but the director, who must have a dick made of three machine guns, does it all like a video game. The Greeks fight every death metal video from the last ten years. There’s wave after wave of giants, freaks, ninjas, mutants, wizards, and a hunchback who looks like he’s got Rosie O’Donnell on his back.

Would I have been happy if Dom DeLuise from HISTORY OF THE WORLD, PART I had shown up? Maybe, but this movie more than makes up for that glaring oversight.

NOT SO GOOD THING:
DUDE NUDITY (“DUDE-ITY”)

These are Greek times, when there were a lot of naked women around. And there are some naked women in this film, but almost every naked woman scene has a muscular dude giving the screen an ass picnic. Dude-ity is something directors put in their movies so people will think they’re serious, I guess, and not just throwing in naked hotties.

Any directors reading this – IT’S OKAY TO JUST THROW IN NAKED HOTTIES.

Can’t someone make a movie about naked Amazons and call it PAUSE BUTTON?

My final analysis is 300 the most ass-ruling movie I’ve seen this year, and will probably be the King of 2007 unless someone makes a movie where a pair of sentient boobs fights a werewolf."

After reading this, I laughed. I cried. It was better than Cats.

Whoever wrote that review is a moron.

quote:

Originally posted by Josh:
Whoever wrote that review is a moron.

Agreed. Its just flat out embarrassing. Zero humor, zero credibility.

I thought it was funny.

quote:

Originally posted by braininabox:

quote:

Originally posted by Josh:
Whoever wrote that review is a moron.

Agreed. Its just flat out embarrassing. Zero humor, zero credibility.

While I'm at a loss as to why it would be "embarassing," to each his own in regards to it being funny or not. Back on topic...I'm pretty excited about the movie (and not because of a joking review).

quote:

Whoever wrote that review is a moron.

I think you're missing the point. The reviewer is saying "whoever made this movie is a moron."

While he's probably right, I'll still see it. I can't resist a good green screen battle.

quote:

Originally posted by Harris:

quote:

Whoever wrote that review is a moron.

I think you're missing the point. The reviewer is saying "whoever made this movie is a moron."

While he's probably right, I'll still see it. I can't resist a good green screen battle.

I wouldn't read that much into it. The reviewer doesn't sound that intelligent to be creating satire.

quote:

Originally posted by Forsakenproductions:

quote:

Originally posted by Harris:

quote:

Whoever wrote that review is a moron.

I think you're missing the point. The reviewer is saying "whoever made this movie is a moron."

While he's probably right, I'll still see it. I can't resist a good green screen battle.

I wouldn't read that much into it. The reviewer doesn't sound that intelligent to be creating satire.

Holy jeebus...it's a joke; it's great if you find it funny, it's fine if you don't. The reviewer thought it was so awesome that he'd write an overly exaggerated "review" of it. I don't imagine the guy expects his opinion to be analyzed too much in depth, especially when he says something like:

"It’s called 300. I don’t know what the title has to do with the movie..."

...followed by...

"It’s about these 300 Greek dudes..."

Sometimes there's nothing below the surface besides a good laugh.

edit: It reminds me a lot of the writing style behind www.realultimatepower.net. Same type of exaggerations, just with, well, slightly more vulgarity.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: cobra_commander,

Having seen the movie, and not being the type to normally find that review funny, I have to say, I found it funny.

I figure this reviewer is one of these folks, much like myself, who is a serious movie-watcher, who can appreciate good cinema, but just has to watch a good guy movie every once in a while, and being that there hasn't been many great ones out lately, this ridiculously over-the-top sausage blending face melting blood orgy was just the thing to set off [...] only found when you catch a guy with a good right hand to the chin. On another note, I'm extrmely excited for this movie, because my film studies class at school is taking an entire day off to go see this. And we don't even have to pay. Or do anything really, but go watch blood fly. Which, going into this school year, was my original fantasy for a day off, but now I must cook up a new one.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: titaniumdoughnut,

quote:

Forsaken said:
The reviewer doesn't sound that intelligent to be creating satire.

Most satire involves the writer abasing his own intelligence or principles in order to satirize the subject who shares that level of intelligence or those principles. I do this all the time LOL.

"It’s called 300. I don’t know what the title has to do with the movie..."

That's mother****ing satire.

I just saw 300 and it ROCKED!!

Let's just clear up a few things. First off, I don't expect anyone who didn't like Sin City coming out of this film liking it. The reason is simple - both films are, essentially, Frank Miller films. Robert Rodriguez and Zack Snyder are just channeling Miller - wisely, of course, but if you're not a fan of Frank Miller's interchangeable characters and pretty specific themes, you won't be a fan.

The movie itself ruled. That's all there is to it.

I think a friend put it best - anything that's wrong with this movie, nobody cares about.

It was spectacular, primative, simple, poorly written, repetitive, empty, non-logical, racist (debatable I know), and misogynistic.

still recommended for sheer blunt trauma of its style, but VERY empty.

quote:

Originally posted by Harris:

quote:

Forsaken said:
The reviewer doesn't sound that intelligent to be creating satire.

Most satire involves the writer abasing his own intelligence or principles in order to satirize the subject who shares that level of intelligence or those principles. I do this all the time LOL.

"It’s called 300. I don’t know what the title has to do with the movie..."

That's mother****ing satire.

LMAO!