A need a feedback on this one, any ideas are welcome, probably is going to be my final film at a film school, my maior is cinematography so i would be glad to use some help from screenwriters and directors

p.s. Sorry for bad english, if there are any inaccuracy dont bother to ask....

Its a story about young couple that barely started live on their own, we first meet them at night after some kind of party as they drunk making love at their apartment, then we realized they have a condom accident whitch will eventualy leed to having a baby. Story takes place in Poland where you only have 72 hours to use a pill a s only legal way of abortion. So now story is devided into 3 acts representing folowing 3days. First day starts with a visit in at ginecologist, in this sequance we see beeing examin by oldschool doctor and him flirting with sexy recepcions. Later on they going to drug store where he spends their last money for a pill. We see a sceene in witch we are to belive she took that pill, during that sceene she is distracted by a women witch kids that looks happy. On evening whe see our couple in bed laing back to each other in silence, finaly they having relaxing sex whitch makes the feel better. In the morning we see him preparing brekfest and her puking in toilet in secred from him. Later she says she is all fine, but she refuse to eat as they both going to visit their parent. Then we have a seen about family diner at her home with her parent. Unable to eat or talk she is trying to convice parents shes all fine, later on whole family is undoing the christmas tree , when she is out for a toilet her parent trying to conwince our character to take a financla help from them in case of any problems. He is to proud to take any money and she is to scared to tell parents about problem. On their way back home they almost hit an inocent kid ruing on the street. Later on back in their apartment. He anserws a call from a friend to go out. He strongly refuse but she forces him to go as she wants to stay alone for a while, after a fight he finaly goes. Parallel we see her looking her body in the mirror, trying how she would look with short hair, touchng her belly, and him drinking in a night club with a friend and some hot girls, but when girls whispers something to him he throw her back and leave. <have no idea for third day morning, i would like them to have a fight a go dofferent directions with a chance to come back together> in the evening we see her in a cafe looking at the pill she fianaly didnt take and him enternig the cafe that looks similar to that she is sitting in, and realize he come to meet the same girl he wos seen yesterday in a club.

It has potential to be taken in a series of directions. Right now, it is more or less events that just play out but so is life. You need to establish conflict and moral dilemma more. For instance, the couple sees a woman hapily with her children - I like that imagery. It is good foreshadowing it makes her unsure of her decision to abort. You need to emphathize that she is wrestling with the decision to keep the child or not. You dance with the notion but then almost forget that that is something she is struggling with. The boyfriend is good too. The idea that he gets into a fight with her then bails on her to go to a club with friends shows how he is coping with the news. It shows devolution in character - the low of the lows. Now, you need to bring him back from the brink. Rather than have him indulge in debauchery have him realize his place by his girlfriends side - have him reaffirm his commitment to her. That is his character arc. He starts out irresponsible, attempts to support her, flakes out, then he should come back. For her, it should be about deciding between her current life style and trading it for motherhood. You should give her parents more of a role too. If they sensed a problem in existence they would butt in as much as they can to find out what it is and try to offer advice or I would think most parents would anyway. I also see a great opportunity to incorporate religious ideology into this if you wanted to. Just a few ideas. Keep at it.

Just like having a real baby

you shouldnt do it

This story has good potential.....I like what anthony said, another thing you could do is make her have the abortion, and when that's done, becuase of her guilt she goes back to her perents house to tell what happen and her parents are very dissapointed. and remember when they almost hit a kid leaving the parents house the first time, they hit him this time with no adult around they take him to the hospital, and later finding out he has no family and he was living on the streets, they decide to take him in. After all of that they end up taking care of a child anyway...... Just a thought

go out, get a girl pregnant, and film the whole thing. You cant make this **** up. You gotta actually see the truth. Have you had kids? Its a nightmare. No amount of imagination can come up with this truth. Its crazy. Get the real deal, go to places where pregnant women congregate. Find single women who dont want kids, get their perspective. Get it all.

Ashton's points should be disregarded , along with your whole starting idea. "she returns home and of course her parents are dissapointed" Yeah we can all guess thats how people will FEEL, but what does that really MEAN? PEople dont come out and just say "I am dissapointed"

Ex. When I told my mother she was going to be a grandmother...you know what she did? She went into denial mode. She just started panicing saying "No...No..." And I didnt talk to her for a few days. Thats how it is. Its not "I am dissapointed" You cant guess or imagine how its gonna happen. You gotta write about what you know, what YOU'VE seen, what YOU know.