hi all,

i have been reading these boards for a few months now and figured i may as well join the proceedings instead of merely observing.

i'm hoping to get into USC, UCLA, Chapman or LMU this fall for an mfa in screenwriting. my scholastic background is a BA in English (i'm particularly fond of Joyce), but i took several film classes as well. i review movies for a weekly entertainment magazine in my hometown.

i posted this link in another forum, but so far it has received zero views. maybe i posted it in the wrong place.

so here it is again. a comedic short i made with friends on a canon xl2.

Welcome to the site! Hopefully you stick around, post some good stuff and more importantly, make great movies. If you've been checking out the boards for a few months, I'm sure you know of our film school section.

A lot of our users come on and stick around in that section, looking for advice and don't really venture into the other parts of the forum. We're working on a way to change that.

I'll take a look at your link and post back with my comments.

-Kegan

Looks like you filmed in 24p? Not using copyrighted logos would be a good start.

The initial scenes look a little bland. Not a whole lot of production value. The most distracting is the shaky camera. A tripod is a VERY worthy investment. If you absolutely have to use handheld, maybe consider picking up a Spiderbrace for the XL2 (www.spiderbrace.com)

A common mistake is having a score throughout the whole movie. It isn't absolutely necessary, but if you do...have it rise and fall with the flow of the movie.

I'm not the biggest fan of color correction, but I think this needed some just to add to it as the colors seemed a bit bland.

Lighting needed work to add "mood" and maybe consider shortening it. It was a touchy subject to add a comedic twist to and was interesting, just...a little boring to be honest.

Oh and another point - if you plan on submitting this to schools as your application film, you may want to consider taking out the bare butt and "imply nudity", even if minimal.

Personally, if you still have time, I'd work on another film to enter.

Just my thoughts,

Kegan

thanks for the feedback, it's good advice for when i make something with serious intent. this was meant just to kill a saturday. the only thought put into the piece was during editing (our first time using final cut), the song my friend wrote and the computer footage - done in flash. the filming itself was a lark.

i am surprised you found it boring, however. it certainly takes its time, but i like deliberate pacing (and dark humor). the music went the whole time because we found that preferable to silence.