Most student films suffer because the editor doesn't know what to cut out. "We shot all this footage, so we have to use all this footage." Here, the editor chose not to include any shots more than a few seconds long, which matched the tone of the piece quite well. The cinematography was also quite good.
While there's nothing wrong with shooting on a smartphone, they come with certain limitations you must consider. The thick black lines streaking the screen and the noise are because you shot in a location too dark for that camera. Keep that in mind if you shoot again.
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