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#Abby - Emotional Short Film

Discussion in 'Drama' started by Michaelm217, Nov 12, 2014.

  1. Michaelm217

    Michaelm217 New Member

    Hey guys,

    This is my first short film I've made outside of college, I put it together for a local festival in just under 8 weeks without a budget. Would love some feedback from fellow film makers to help me improve on future projects and always keep moving forward!

    Appreciate your time,
    Michael.

     
    • Like Like x 5
  2. Chris W

    Chris W Studentfilms.com & FilmSchool.org Owner Staff Member

    That was great. Very well shot. The music did get a little repetitive and the story wasn't entirely original... but I did enjoy it. Gorgeous film and effects.
     
    • Agree Agree x 1
  3. Chris W

    Chris W Studentfilms.com & FilmSchool.org Owner Staff Member

    One suggestion to improve the ending... it would be very powerful to finally hear natural sounds such as the waves and even better a or two words from Abby and "her man" .

    That would be a great juxtaposition to the "silence" of the rest of the film.
     
    • Like Like x 1
  4. testing123456

    testing123456 New Member

    I've added a new "short film" section that is integrated with the site much better. If you add your film there it'll be much easier for people to comment on it, rate it, and give reviews.
     
  5. Chris W

    Chris W Studentfilms.com & FilmSchool.org Owner Staff Member

    Ha - that last message was written by me as a test user. :) I was logged into the wrong account.
     
  6. Chris W

    Chris W Studentfilms.com & FilmSchool.org Owner Staff Member

    We've added a new Short Films section to the site where you can submit films and people can, rate and review them.

    It's a new feature that integrates films into the site much better than the current way of just posting them to the forums.

    In a way I'm finally bringing the site back to it's roots! :)

    Please add this film and any others you have to this section when you can.
     
    • Like Like x 1
  7. AmbitiousYF

    AmbitiousYF New Member

    This was simply awesome.
     
    • Like Like x 1
  8. Punky

    Punky New Member

    Cool stuff. I would've gone for a slightly different track - the piano track, while beautiful, is a bit too serious for what is essentially a small story trying to say something big about how we live now. I would've gone for something a little bit more playful.

    Also, I think most girls wouldn't have actually responded to the guy on the train, and if they did, they might've been a little creeped out by the fact that he was watching her long enough to sketch her with a lot of accuracy. That being said, if you maybe added a scene or two of them noticing each other just a bit in the second half of the film, it might've worked better.

    Also, the older guy on the jetty kind of confused me - I figured sketch guy was going to be the guy she was going to meet, and for a second, I thought it was a bait and switch and the older guy was the guy who threw her the paper airplane.

    All that being said, your story was very clear, and you had some really beautiful shots in there. Keep making films, man! :)
     
    • Like Like x 1
  9. Bettina Smith

    Bettina Smith Member

    I love it! A definitely great film to watch! And the story is totally awesome. Everything that happens really has a purpose just like dropping your phone and not on being able to be active on social media yet appreciating what's around your environment and finally meeting your man. Love the plot! Though there are some changes you need to do just like the music you've put in it and those recommendations they've just said. But still, it's a two thumbs up for you Michael!
     
  10. Short Films

    Short Films New Member

    Seems like a good movie. the YouTube link is not working anymore as if the video is removed or something. I wanna watch it, where can I find it?
     

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