'Listen' - Story of a man who just want others to listen.

[Reghu]

This is a short that I directed.
Its a Story of a man who just want others to listen.
Please comment on it.
Comments are most welcome ,good or bad.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s0ua066JV48

Thanks,
Reghu

 

[Reghu]

This being my first short film,I am expecting some good harsh criticism and comments.

Thanks,
Reghu

 

[GabrielM]

Well, I think you did an excellent job in post-production. The editing, sound mixing, and music selection were exceptionally good. The color correction during flashbacks was just okay.

But the video color during present time scenes bothered more than amazed me. In my opinion, it looks wrong. You either white balance your camera wrong or you color "corrected" wrong in post. Or both. But this is just my opinion.

Furthermore, I think the concept itself is flawed. To begin with, suicide stories are overdone. Although there is a twist to the suicide, the story itself needs more to it.

If you did this little short to showcase your editing or experiment with a new camera, then the story is not your major concern. However, if you're showcasing your talent as a filmmaker you need a better story.

We don't have enough time to bond with the characters, so we don't care if they die. You start the story too late. We need some exposition. What happened earlier that morning? that week? Why is the main guy contemplating suicide. Was he fired? Did he break up with his girlfriend? Did his son die? Regardless of the reason, suicide may not be the way to go. If you want us to sympathize with the character, may be he learns to deal with his problems, instead of giving up on life.

The voice-over in the beginning felt awkward and out-of-place. Although it sounded marvelous, I didn't understand the connection to the characters on the beach. It set me up for a completely different movie.

The ending also felt incoherent. My reading of the line "I'm not gonna stop trying" is that the main guy decided to keep on living. On the beach, we saw that he was ready to drink the poison and die. And now, after killing a friend, he decided to live? How is life any better now? The guilt/pain of killing a friend or just an innocent person is enough reason for a suicide. Now I do want him to commit suicide (even though he shouldn't).

Simply put, when there's NO reason for suicide, he decides to do it. But when there IS a reason to do it, he decides to live. Incoherent.

Best of luck,

 

[CNDallas]

So glad to see that someone actually leaves good and useful comments

.

 

[Reghu]

Thanks a lot Gabriel for the effort you have put to analyze the film and also for the eye opening criticism.

Let me answer few questions that really bothered you.

1)'I'm not gonna stop trying'

I wanted to leave the meaning of that line to the viewers interpretation.Some interpreted it as the guy will sucide again while others that he has decided to keep living.

From your comments I understand that it is causing a lot confusion and ultimately sounds incoherent.

2)"Editing,Colour correctiion and camera"

This film was actually shot with a odinary Sony handycam borrowed from my friend and with a budget of Rs 250 ie about $5.

I learned editing and colour correction and all the post production doing this film.

Thanks for the good comment regarding post-production.

3) Story

Sure I will try to work on it. I am currently working on a spagetti western like silent short film.I am going back to the drawing board and
making some changes to make it more coherent.

Thanks a lot again for the comments ,I really appreciate it.

Thanks,
Reghu

 

[GabrielM]

I'm glad you liked my comments.

I really don't see how people can interpret that the guy is going to keep trying to kill himself when we see him with his backpack at work/school. But this is subjective, and I understand that people read the evidence differently.

Even though you used a Sony handycam, you should be able to create a "normal" look (in terms of color temperature). In fact, some handycams don't let you white balance at all, so you always get the "normal" look. I was not talking about the image quality but the image color. It seems to me that you experimented something in post that didn't work for me.

And one more thing that I didn't mention before. This is small but still something you shouldn't ignore. Watch out for spelling mistakes in your subtitles. Sometimes when I see "don't" without the apostrophe, I cringe at the screen. I understand that you live in an other country and that English might not be your first language, but if you decide to broadcast your movie internationally (as with YouTube), you should strive to make it flawless, right? This becomes more crucial if you enter your film in competitions in English-speaking countries. And for what's worth, your English (judging by the movie and your posts here) is better than what I observe on most Americans.

Let us know when your next production is out.

Best,

 

[GabrielM]

I forgot to ask, who composed the music for your film? Or was that borrowed from some movie or album?

 

[Reghu]

No, It was picked from a whole lot of movies which was then edited and remixed to suit the film. Haven't met any good composer whom I can afford.

 

[GabrielM]

Well, great job in finding and remixing the music. Yes, good composers are expensive. But once you have a solid project worthy of festival consideration, be sure to hire a composer. Needless to say, most festivals only allow you to use copyrighted material if you have written consent.